On Sunday, I went to my sister's Church where she's a priest. What an experience.
First, I went to be supportive. I know this is of great love and importance to her, her calling is sacred and profound. I respect that. I support it and admire it. But I am a strange tourist in a church. I don't fit in and I don't feel comfortable. I wasn't even baptized. The service, the Church part of it all: I am lost within the prescribed protocol. I don't know the steps, the order, the regimen. It is confusing and alienating. I feel a spectator.
Secondly, any kind of ritual action is soothing. If you're comfortable. I keep hoping to find comfort, but that kind of fellowship just doesn't ring true for me. It's too...populated by Sunday-Only folk. I'd rather find my way surrounded by great beauty: my profoundest moments have been solitary, contemplative and outside in a unique and breathtaking natural environment.
Man's creations can be awe-inspiring, but nothing is so humbling as to see the lyricism of mother nature. There are so many fantastical natural elements/evolutions--how can one not hope to believe in a divinity that is complex and mysterious in all ways? I believe most when I am stunned and challenged by my subtle world around me.
But so I went. Her church is lovely. I am still often surprised to see my sister up there. Her life has taken so many curious turns. And arrives at last at that which is most important to her. All is well.
I am surprised by our differences. We are two such polar opposites.