What began as the occasional squirrel eating out of my bird feeders and having a drink from the bird bath--innocuous and sweet at the time--has evolved into a brawling street fight of squirrels who gobble up all the bird seed and then proceed to eat the damn bird feeders themselves.
They scurry across the roof and launch themselves into trees near my home, shimming down the branches to sit gloatingly on the feeder and pull out greedy fistfuls of nutty chow.
They screech at each other and have turf wars--turf wars!--over my turf! And recently, even the chipmunks have been encouraged to join in the fray. Those guys work as supply vehicles, cramming their cheeks to twice their size with as much food as they can carry, dragging their heavy heads back to base, where they spit out their ill-gotten gain and catalog the take.
Yes! But before I stumbled across that--I found telltale signs of a ramping up of hostilities.
The pictures speak for themselves:
Above, top: dangerous squirrel weapons
Middle: closeup of a sharpened spear tip
Below: deadly squirrel mace or war club
Naturally I confiscated the weapons as soon as I found them and reported my concerns to the local Animal Control Center. They seemed to feel there was nothing suspicious about my findings--and refused to even file a report!
Even after multiple demonstrations of how these dastardly weapons could (and would--you mark my words!) be used, they still refused to listen to reason. They even accused ME of wasting valuable time and threatened to report ME to the police for making crank calls. CRANK CALLS?!
They'll see. They'll ALL see. AND THEN THEY'LL BE SORRY.
more to come soon--but the trees have eyes and I can only update this in small amounts or they might catch on...