"And people, you know, starting freaking out! People fucking getting rashes, splitting bitches with shovels, eating faces all over the place! And so, the logical explanation and conclusion that the human population of the United States of America, of course, comes to, is that we're all turning into fucking zombies. Because our country is retarded."
Love. This. Man.
Also, the name "LaVodka." Priceless. And for this next one, I don't even know...?