So, left to my own devices, after midnight, no good comes from access to the Interweb and my credit card. It leads to impulsive purchases for things that I find amusing. Like the above, pink, "tactical" pen, with stylus.
All the boys at work have these masculine, tacticool pens that are made out of damasteel and titanium and kryponite and adamantium. They come in colors like gunmetal, stealth black, carbon grey, sniper grey, olive drab, radiant red and "raw" (?). They have names like Orion or Draco, Sniper or Enforcer, Tuffwriter, Investigator--Double Trouble. It's like Double-Mint or Hubba-Bubba, but tastes like copper and mean. And no bubbles.
Granted, some of these pens are very cool. But there comes a point when it's just Gear Junkie Syndrome. The boys who have these pens will never use them for anything other than writing--and making each other jealous. Perfectly fine reasons, but nothing to do with needing to be tactical.
Also, many of these manly pens look a little...well...butt-pluggy. For real. Go look some up. Just go spend about 10 minutes looking at tactical pens--and tell me that quite a few of them don't totally read "sex toy." I'm just sayin. And sure, my pocket whiskey flask could totally pass for a silver dildo--so I'm just as guilty as the next person. But it's a flask, dammit!
I picked up my pen off amazon for cheap; thought it was a funny riff on the standard tactical pen. It will also irritate my work BFF. She reviles all things pink or feminine, or me. Saw her lose her shit one day because I'd left my pink-camo ear-pro on the corner of a shared desk. She snatched them up and either pantomimeded slamming them down onto the desk--or actually almost did and then caught herself & stopped. I wasn't supposed to see it, but I did. In the end she simply chucked the offending item into a shelf. Thanks, girlfriend!
It sure is a super fun treat working that one. In the words of another female colleague "someone's tampon is on fire."
So when I'm not opening all the rolls of coins in the cash drawers, or wearing my incredibly offensive pink-camo ear-pro, or writing with my tacky and childish PINK tactical pen, or parading my Domokun morale patch about--on my Mini-Me Eberlestock backpack, I'll be thinking of other ways I can gently subvert the testosterone-laden, and tampon-flaming environment in which I presently work.