As an analog to my previous post lamenting and celebrating my long distance relationship with my very bestest of best BFFs and most wonderfullest of lovelies and most loyal of loyals and most true of trues and good of goods--I had a one-off convo with her as we were window shopping for sofas that in retrospect has continued to make me sadder and sadder.
There was another couple in Crate & Barrel looking at flatware and glasses--and they were approximately our same age. But they were a male-female couple. I suddenly realized that KB and I are about (well, mostly) to move in together and possibly to move cross-country together. This past winter we went on a road trip and accidentally/serendipitously found the place we want to get 'married' (if that's an option). On that same trip I found a simple, pretty dress I want to wear to that happy event--and gosh, the list just goes on and on. I think my sister will be delighted to marry us and with luck, both our sets of parents will attend. If that's too uncomfortable, for them, I know our siblings will attend--and that's wonderful. We're lucky to have such supportive sisters.
But I digress. I suddenly found myself saying that I thought it was a sad thing, that though we may do all of this, all of the above, feel just as strongly as our hetero couple--have just as good a chance of making it--if not better considering how much we've already dealt with and remained strong...that it was just a sad and strange to thing to know that the marriage option might not be available. That where so many other couples register at shops to help them start off, it won't be obviously assumed that we'd want and like to do this too.
Now, we're not a young 20-something couple just starting out with nothing to our names. I have been lucky to come from a family of artists and designers. I have a beautiful home, I don't 'need' anything--although as with any 'new' couple, we have items we'd like to replace with things that we find together--like the sofa. Like a new mattress, if not a new bed, like down-sizing and getting rid of duplicate household items, to make way for one set, our set, for us.
I'm rambling now, but the point is--it struck me as so odd and weird and sad and strange and stupid that even now, I know it wouldn't be a given that we'd maybe want and need to be acknowledged in the same way that our straight counterparts would. That I, too, want my parents to support me and my partner--and that if we should fall on hardship and harsh feelings--our parents would first be beholding to our stance as a couple, our vows--and not necessarily always be seeing our love, our bond, as different and a little less real--and a little less automatically cherished.
A person should be so lucky to find such a stalwart, decent, kind and true heart as I have found in KB. We are two peas in an odd pod for sure. The chances of us not meeting so exponentially outweigh the chances of us finding one another it's ridiculous that we did. And if this isn't special, I don't know what is.